The Stories You Tell Yourself in Each Nervous System State

WHY YOUR NERVOUS SYSTEM SHAPES YOUR INNER NARRATIVE — AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT

Your thoughts aren’t just mental — they’re physiological.

When your nervous system shifts, so does your perception of reality. The stories you tell yourself about who you are, what’s possible and how others feel about you change depending on whether you’re regulated or dysregulated.

In this blog, we’ll explore how your inner narrative adapts across the four primary nervous system states — and how to rewrite those stories once your system feels safe.

WHEN YOUR THOUGHTS AREN’T TELLING THE TRUTH — THEY’RE TELLING YOUR STATE

Our inner dialogue is often less about what’s real and more about what’s safe.

When the nervous system is dysregulated, your brain interprets the world through a survival lens. Threat feels amplified. Possibility feels out of reach. Self-trust feels shaky.

By learning to recognize state-specific thinking, you can stop believing everything you think — and start relating to your stories with more compassion and discernment.

YOUR INNER NARRATIVE ACROSS NERVOUS SYSTEM STATES

In Regulation (Ventral) — Balanced, Open and Grounded in Reality

In a regulated state, your thoughts are measured and resilient. You can hold multiple truths at once. You may still feel challenged, but your thinking is flexible and rooted in possibility.

• Energetic signature: Steady, confident, clear
  
• Narrative tone: “This is hard, but I know I can navigate it.”
  
• Supportive practice: Reflect on a time you overcame something difficult. Use memory to reinforce a grounded sense of capability and truth.

In Activation (Sympathetic) — Fast, Fearful and Catastrophic

In activation, your story speeds up. Everything feels urgent. Your mind may spiral into worst-case scenarios or black-and-white thinking. You might interpret neutral cues as danger or rejection.

• Energetic signature: Hyper-alert, reactive, intense
  
• Narrative tone: “Everything’s falling apart — I need to fix it right now.”
  
• Supportive practice: Slow down your system before challenging your thoughts. Try lengthening your exhale or walking in nature. Then revisit the narrative with more perspective.

In Depletion (Dorsal) — Hopeless, Dismissive and Detached

In depletion, your story goes flat. Instead of spiraling, you shut down. You may tell yourself that nothing matters, that you’re failing or that it’s too late. The voice of shame often takes the lead here.

• Energetic signature: Numb, heavy, shut down
  
• Narrative tone: “What’s the point? I don’t care anymore.”
  
• Supportive practice: Reintroduce warmth and connection. Wrap yourself in a blanket, listen to soft music or name something you’re grateful for — even if it feels small.

In Overload (Freeze) — Fragmented, Overwhelming and Stuck

In freeze, the story gets tangled. You can’t organize your thoughts or access clarity. Your mind loops through confusion, indecision or self-blame. You want to act but feel paralyzed by conflicting internal messages.

• Energetic signature: Disoriented, looping, panicked
  
• Narrative tone: “I should do something — but I can’t. I’m stuck.”
  
• Supportive practice: Orient to the present moment. Name 3 colors around you or place your hand on your chest. Let the body come online before trying to reframe the story.

YOU DON’T NEED TO FIGHT YOUR THOUGHTS — YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND YOUR STATE

The stories you tell yourself aren’t always true — but they are always valuable information. They show you how safe (or unsafe) your nervous system feels in that moment.

When you meet the story with nervous system care first, you create space for a new narrative to emerge.

WHERE TO START

Explore The statechanged Method Workbook for nervous system–specific journaling prompts that help you track your inner dialogue across states — and build new language grounded in regulation.

Not sure what state you're in? Take our Free Nervous System State Quiz to find out — and receive tools that meet you where you are.

Looking for instant tools to shift your state? Our Digital Downloads include grounding practices, nervous system maps and affirmations to help you reconnect to what’s real.