Healing Isn’t Linear: How the Nervous System Moves Through Setbacks in Each State
WHY SETBACKS IN HEALING AREN’T FAILURES — THEY’RE PART OF THE NERVOUS SYSTEM’S NATURAL PROCESS
There is no straight path to healing — only spirals, pauses, regressions and unexpected breakthroughs. The nervous system doesn’t respond to timelines or to-do lists. It responds to safety, capacity and rhythm.
If you’ve ever felt like you were “doing well” and then suddenly weren’t, it’s not because you failed. It’s because your nervous system is moving through layers — and that’s what healing actually looks like.
THE SHAPE OF NERVOUS SYSTEM HEALING
Healing isn’t always peaceful. Sometimes it looks like agitation, fatigue, disconnection or freeze. Often, the nervous system reactivates old patterns as a way of surfacing material that’s ready to be met with more presence.
Understanding your state during a setback allows you to meet it with compassion instead of criticism.
- In Regulation, setbacks can be met with curiosity and softness
- In Activation, healing may feel rushed, urgent or pressured
- In Depletion, healing can feel slow, heavy or hopeless
- In Overload, healing may feel impossible — like you’ve shut down completely
STATE SPECIFIC INSIGHTS DURING SETBACKS
In Regulation — Hold Space With Compassion
Even in Regulation, setbacks can stir fear or disappointment. The work here is to stay with yourself and resist the urge to “fix.”
- Remind yourself: “Progress isn’t lost just because pain reemerges”
- Supportive practice: Journaling what’s shifting beneath the surface
- Anchor with: Ritual, gentle movement, compassionate reflection
In Activation — Slow Down the Urge to Push
Your system may be trying to speed through discomfort. Setbacks here can feel like danger or failure.
- Remind yourself: “This is activation, not regression”
- Supportive practice: Use slow exhales or bilateral stimulation (walking, tapping)
- Anchor with: Rhythm, breath and language that affirms safety
In Depletion — Rebuild With Softness
In Depletion, a setback might feel like you're slipping further away. But this is not the end — it’s a pause.
- Remind yourself: “I can be still and still be healing”
- Supportive practice: Sensory nourishment — warmth, weight, texture
- Anchor with: Non-verbal support like touch, presence or rest
In Overload — Contain the Energy and Reduce Input
Setbacks in Overload may feel disorienting. You may feel blank, shut down or distant from your inner world.
- Remind yourself: “My body is protecting me because it feels overwhelmed”
- Supportive practice: Use deep pressure, soft humming or visual simplicity
- Anchor with: Minimal stimuli and a single, grounding presence or phrase
TRUTHFUL AFFIRMATIONS FOR WHEN YOU FEEL STUCK
- Healing can be quiet
- I haven’t gone backward — I’ve deepened
- Setbacks are part of nervous system integration
- The body remembers safety, even when I don’t feel it yet
- I am still healing, even when I feel undone
PROGRESS ISN’T LINEAR — IT’S CYCLICAL, CELLULAR AND SACRED
What looks like “going backwards” is often your system revealing something ready to be rewired. Healing may not always feel good — but it’s always movement.
You don’t need to be perfect to be healing. You only need to be present.
Every spiral, every pause, every wave of emotion is part of the body’s intelligence reorganizing itself toward wholeness.
Where to Start
The statechanged Method Workbook includes state specific tools for navigating setbacks with nervous system awareness and self-compassion.
Take the Free Nervous System Assessment Quiz to identify what state you’re currently in and find practices that meet you there.
Explore our Digital Downloads for audio tools that support you in moments of collapse, overwhelm or emotional intensity — so your healing can continue in all forms.