What Wellbeing Really Means (Hint: It’s Not Productivity, Positivity, or Control)
Redefining wellbeing through the lens of nervous system health and internal safety.
We often define wellbeing by what we do — meditating, journaling, eating clean, exercising. But true wellbeing isn’t a checklist — it’s a felt sense of internal safety.
When the nervous system is in Regulation, wellbeing feels accessible. But in dysregulated states, even the most well-intentioned routines can feel like pressure. This guide redefines wellbeing from the inside out — and offers ways to support it without relying on perfection, positivity, or productivity.
Wellbeing Across Nervous System States
In Regulation (Ventral) — Wellbeing Feels Natural and Grounded
When in Regulation, wellbeing feels spacious and personal. You feel connected to yourself and can engage with habits from a place of desire, not pressure.
- Wellbeing expression: Rituals feel nourishing, not obligatory
- Mindset: “I want to care for myself because I value how I feel.”
- Supportive practice: Stay connected to joy. Enjoy meals, rest, or connection — not just because they’re healthy, but because they feel good.
In Activation (Sympathetic) — Wellbeing May Feel Like Another Task
In Activation, wellbeing often becomes performance. The nervous system chases routines hoping they’ll fix discomfort — but the pressure to “stay well” only adds to the stress.
- Wellbeing expression: Over-scheduling, perfectionism, fixation
- Mindset: “If I don’t do this perfectly, I’ll fall apart.”
- Supportive practice: Pause the pressure. Choose one supportive action and let it be enough. Try resting without earning it.
In Depletion (Dorsal) — Wellbeing May Feel Inaccessible or Meaningless
In Depletion, wellbeing might feel out of reach. You may struggle to remember what once helped — or care enough to try. This isn’t laziness. It’s your body conserving energy.
- Wellbeing expression: Withdrawal, apathy, lack of motivation
- Mindset: “Nothing helps. I just feel numb.”
- Supportive practice: Focus on what feels neutral or comforting. Sip warm tea. Wrap in a blanket. Sit in sunlight. Small comfort is the gateway to wellbeing.
In Overload (Freeze) — Wellbeing May Feel Overwhelming or Impossible
In Overload, even thinking about wellness routines can feel paralyzing. Your system is flooded, and the idea of fixing yourself can feel like too much.
- Wellbeing expression: Overwhelm, avoidance, collapse
- Mindset: “I should do something but I can’t.”
- Supportive practice: Ground yourself with simple sensory tools. Touch something cool. Move slowly. Breathe with sound. Let wellbeing mean reconnection, not effort.
Where to Start
The statechanged Toolkit and Affirmation Cards offer gentle ways to reconnect with
wellbeing — without overthinking or overdoing.
Start by taking the Free Nervous System Quiz to understand what kind of support actually matches your state right now.
Redefining What It Means to Be Well
Wellbeing doesn’t live in routines — it lives in how your body feels. When you stop trying to achieve wellbeing and start listening to your nervous system, something shifts.
Presence becomes the practice. And your natural state — one of balance, clarity, and self-trust — becomes more accessible, one breath at a time.