The Importance of Connection for Nervous System Wellness
Healthy social connections play a large role in the wellbeing of your nervous system.
Connection is one of the most fundamental needs for human health and well-being. At its core, the nervous system is wired for connection—seeking safety, understanding, and co-regulation through social interactions. Healthy relationships and interactions not only provide emotional fulfillment but also directly influence how the nervous system functions, helping it to regulate and maintain balance.
This article explores why connection is so vital for nervous system wellness, how spending time with others can influence your ability to shift between states, and offers state specific recommendations for types of social interactions to engage in while in the states of Activation (sympathetic), Depletion (dorsal) or Overload (freeze).
Why Connection Matters
The nervous system is profoundly influenced by social cues. Through the process of co-regulation, being around others who feel safe, calm, and connected can help your nervous system mirror that sense of balance. This is a function of the social engagement system, governed by the ventral vagus nerve.
Research in neuroscience has shown that being in the presence of someone with a regulated nervous system can help shift your own nervous system out of Dysregulation. For example:
In Activation, social cues of safety—like soft eye contact, a soothing tone, or a warm hug—can signal the body that it’s okay to relax.
In Depletion, engaging with someone you trust can gently reawaken a sense of connection and belonging.
In Overload, grounding conversations or simple shared activities can provide a reassuring anchor.
Connection and Interstate Travel
Shifting between nervous system states often requires external signals of safety. Spending time with people who feel safe, supportive, and non-judgmental can create the conditions for state shifts. These individuals act as “anchors” for your nervous system, helping you move toward Regulation (ventral).
Conversely, being around people who feel unsafe or Dysregulated can amplify stress, deepen feelings of fatigue or overwhelm, and make it harder to return to balance. This is why intentional connection—seeking out the right people and environments for your current state—is key.
Social Protocols for Each Nervous System State
In Activation (sympathetic): Releasing Energy Through Supportive Connection
When in Activation, the nervous system is in a heightened state. Social interactions can help discharge energy and promote calm, but it’s important to choose the right setting.
Who to connect with: Trusted friends or family members who feel safe and steady.
What to do: Engage in light, physical activities together, like walking, dancing, or playing a game. These activities help release energy while creating a sense of connection.
Why it helps: Shared movement provides an outlet for built-up energy while the presence of a trusted person reinforces safety.
In Depletion (dorsal): Restoring Connection Through Gentle Interaction
In Depletion, the body feels low-energy or withdrawn. Social connection can gently restore a sense of belonging and re-engagement, but the environment needs to feel calm and non-demanding.
Who to connect with: A close, trusted person who understands your need for quiet presence.
What to do: Engage in soothing, low-energy activities together, like watching a favorite movie, drinking tea, or sitting in companionable silence.
Why it helps:Gentle connection reminds the nervous system that it’s not alone, offering reassurance and warmth without overwhelming the system.
In Overload (freeze): Grounding Through Reassuring Connection
In Overload, the nervous system feels stuck or immobilized. Social connection can create a sense of grounding and safety, helping the body move out of overwhelm.
Who to connect with: Someone who feels steady and calm, and who offers a sense of safety without pressuring you to engage deeply.
What to do: Simple, grounding activities like sitting outside together, coloring, or lightly chatting about neutral topics.
Why it helps:These interactions provide a safe anchor for the nervous system, gently signaling that it’s okay to begin moving out of freeze.
The Role of Intentional Connection
Social connection isn’t about quantity—it’s about quality. Intentional connection involves choosing people and environments that feel safe and supportive for where you are in the moment.
Pause and assess: Who feels safe and grounding to you right now?
Start small: If full social interaction feels overwhelming, begin with simple shared presence.
Trust the process:Connection takes time. Even brief, meaningful interactions can shift the nervous system closer to Regulation.
Where to Start
Exploring the power of connection doesn’t have to feel overwhelming. The statechanged Method Workbook provides insights into how social interactions influence the nervous system and offers tailored guidance for each state.
If you’re unsure where to begin, start with the free Nervous System Assessment Quiz on the homepage. This quick quiz identifies your current state and offers personalized suggestions for connection-based support.
For instant tools and practices, explore our Digital Downloads, which include resources to support co-regulation and connection.
The Path Back to Regulation
Connection is one of the most powerful tools for nervous system wellness. By choosing intentional, state-specific social interactions, it’s possible to release tension, restore calm and experience the safety of being seen and understood.
This process isn’t about forcing interactions—it’s about leaning into relationships that feel natural and supportive. Trust the signals your body is sending, seek out connections that feel right for you, and let these interactions guide you back to your natural state — which is one of wellbeing.